Because oranges don’t float high enough
Capers and olives are simply too small
Bobbing for cactus might be a bit rough
And redwoods are perniciously tall.
Because popcorn might hit you in the eye
Eggs always break and stones sink
Bobbing for onions would make you cry
And garlic would make your breath stink.
Bobbing for mountains takes way too much space
Fish are decidedly hyperactive
Bobbing for French fries would burn your face
Then you would be less attractive.
I’d gladly try bobbing for cheesecake you know
In a tub full of beans and molasses
But molasses would make the bob terribly slow
And the beans might make me pass gasses.
Try as you might, you cannot bob for light
And darkness would be equally vexing
You will find light quite difficult to bite
And just to see darkness is perplexing.
On a trampoline in Vaseline
Bobbing for pizza would be delicious
But the mess it would make would be simply obscene
And the Vaseline would be too lubricious.
The government said you can’t bob for your head
Nor for croutons, futons or tomatoes
Not for kittens, mittens, goldfish named Fred
Apples okay, but no mashed potatoes.
-B.R. Moroni
Draft © 2005 B.R. Moroni All Rights Reserved
1 comment:
What a great poem for this time of year. And what fun it was to read it. Brad, I'd like to see you bob for some of the things in your poem, such as the cheese cake in beans and molasses. Ssssh, I won't tell the government. Thanks for the humor.
Post a Comment